What works: -Running time. The film's only about an hour long, and very wisely so for a plotless porn that doesn't try to arouse and only has weird imagery to offer by way of redeeming qualities.
-Cinematography. Images are colourful, camera movements - unpredictable. Jess zooms up people's assholes and pans along poster-covered walls with equal enthusiasm.
-Music. I don't remember actor's names or faces but the tunes playing over the yucky copulation scenes are quite memorable.
What doesn't work:
-Sex. No, seriously. I had great trouble watching most of it. Performers come in various shapes and sizes and the intrusive camera often captures them in rather unattractive detail. I'd say its healthier to go out for a cigarette during some of the less flattering closeups then to brave it and suffer nightmares.
-Lina's wig. H o r r i b l e . Somehow being caked in pale makeup and wearing a red wig made my favourite Lina Romay look sort of creepy. Like a witch smoking and wanking while looking right down the lens with her bottomless eyes.
-Having Antonio Mayans in the credits when he's nowhere to be found in the actual film.
Even though EL MIRON is sure to be a stressful experience for those more used to actually attractive nudity, it still shouldn't be considered a failure. Thanks to brief running time and Jess' boundless formal creativity behind the camera, EL MIRON is worth a glance. But mainly for those already fascinated enough with JF to bear the discomfort. Dear porn lovers - go watch APOCALYPSE CLIMAX or any other "proper" porn.
I don't plan to seek out other hc titles by Franco as EL MIRON is said to be the best of them(or perhaps the least painful). Honestly, it's easier to sit through this, than through director's absurd and worthless self-mockery MARI-COOKIE AND THE KILLER TARANTULA IN 8 LEGS TO LOVE YOU or mercenary LOVE CAMP.
Cool review, Alex. Don't you love seeking out obscure vintage porn that was either directed by or starred familiar genre names, only to be sorely disappointed and wondering why you did it in the first place? :) I can't think of anything less "erotic" than badly filmed porn with actresses who, uh, don't exactly groom themselves. Speaking of which, I just got a hold of a hardcore porno with Brigitte Lahaie and was planning on reviewing it, but there isn't much to say about it.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
ReplyDeleteI've been wanting to cover this particlura JF film for a while, as it's one of his (deservedly)lesser-known works.
I never saw any Lahaie hardcore, and you sound a bit underwhelmed about it. Which film did you see with her?
It's called SECRETS D'ADOLESCENTES or something like that. There's another version of it with less sex and more of a narrative under a different title, but I don't remember the name of it. I wasn't really underwhelmed by it because I got exactly what I expected out of it, but porn isn't a genre that I really know how to review and do justice. I'd rather just post screen shots of it but I really don't want to have to put that stupid fucking "Adult Content" warning on my page!
ReplyDeleteAs far as the movie, it's your standard vintage porn. Nothing special. I sought it out because an Italian actress who I'm a fan of is in it. It was very surreal to see Lahaie doing hardcore because I didn't know it was something she did in the past.
Ha ha,
ReplyDeleteI actually posted this review precisely to justify the "Adult Content" warning:))
Gonna google SECRETS now...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081481/
ReplyDeleteIt has a few alternate titles.
Thanks a lot for the link!
ReplyDeleteMy favourite Lahaie role is in Rollin's LA NUIT DES TRAQUEES, which is also supposed to exist in both drama and porn versions.
Non l'ho visto, ma dalle immagini le scene di sesso sembrano FINTE, "plasticose"... C'è sicuramente di "meglio" in giro...
ReplyDeleteI've seen, but the images of the sex scenes seem DUMMY, "plastic" ... There is certainly a "best" around ...
Non posso suggerire questa pellicola a qualcuno. È certamente pornografia brutta. Quasi porno-arthouse :)
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen that one. I do like her in FASCINATION, though... there's something about a naked Lahaie carrying around a scythe that I find incredibly sexy! :)
ReplyDeleteYes, FASCINATION is a nice film, my favourite part has got to be the ending, very emotional.
ReplyDeleteThe two guys' corpses Lahaie kills with a skythe are blinking shamelessly!
LA NUIT DES TRAQUESS/NIGHT OF THE HUNTED isn't widely considered a "classic" Rollin.
It's minimalist and almost futuristic.
Also genuinely moving in places - a quality rarely found in cheap genre films.